Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Transparency with Papa God.

This is a journal entry I found from a while ago.  I felt moved to share my honest pleas to Papa God.
We can be honest with Him, besides He knows it all anyways ; )

My eyes can't hold it in any longer.
I'm more broken than I think.
These lies have haunted me for so long, I feel attacked on every side.
Issues I thought I'd dealt with are getting brought up again.
Right when I think I'm doing okay, I find myself running back into your arms. 
It's the only place I feel safe. 
I'm still learning to trust the one who's the most trustworthy.
How can I let anyone else in?
I've hid these shameful secrets in a closet and locked the door, the deceiver holds the key. 
I'm ready to take it back and unlock the door.
The thing the enemy called my weakness will now become my strength.
I'm tired of pretending I have it all together. 
My mind is a place of wicked thoughts, Jesus sweep it out, clean away the dust and the cobwebs.
You are clothing me in the whitest linens.
I've said, "You have my whole heart...", but now I'm realizing I've withheld, out of fear of giving it all
Love scares me.
Love means intimacy, not just physically, but it means my heart is exposed.
Thank you for not forcing yourself on me.
I can hold your hand for now, I know you're patient.
I know you're gentle.
You're teaching me what love really is.
You're not a fantasy.
You don't exist for me, I exist for you.
I feel trapped in this body of sinful desire.
Sometimes I wish I could fly away and escape this world. 
You keep me sane.


  1. Dear Kelly Weimer,

    Wish you a very blessed and Christ Centered New Year.
    It is so good to know you through your profile on the blogger. I am also glad to know your love for the Lord and your blog Passionate Pursuit. I am also glad to know that you are a traveller and missionary. About me I am in the Pastoral ministry for last 33yrs in the great city of Mumbai, India., a city with great contrast where richest of rich and the poorest of poor live with a population of 18 million people of which half of the population lives in the slums and those who live in the slums are the people who are poor, marginalized and socially, politically and economically oppressed. We reach out to such people with the love of Christ to bring healing to the broken hearted and give new hope and future. We also encourage young people from the West with the passion for the Lord to come on a short term missions trip to work with us. Since your a traveller and missionary, We would love to have you come and work with us. Would like to hear from you in the near future. My email id is and my name is Diwakar Wankhede

  2. This is such an authentic journal entry... I would call it a Psalm actually! I always get inspired when I read your blog! Happy New year Kelly :)