Today the Lord asked me a difficult question. As I peered past rows of the heads of my fellow peers to make eye contact with the speaker up front, Papa spoke...
"If your whole life was spent in the background, never being noticed or acknowledged as some great leader or accomplishment would you still give your life to follow me? If you were never considered a spiritual giant of your age, would I still be enough?"
Like David, I would be hidden in the caves of those who are nameless and faceless. Singing my songs to the bare walls of the underground chamber, the echo of my beating heart my only companion. Dreams and vision for another occasion, no one to share my deepest desires. My only satisfaction would be knowing He is pleased, a warm smile painted across His face to wipe the fears away. The only praise to reach my ears would be that of a Perfect Father. Praise of man would never be my enemy. With no stage or platform this pen and paper my storyboard. Living for the audience of one. Would I give up seeing my name in the lights...hearing the applause of a world gone mad? If I followed my flesh, the answer would be a lifeless no. But my spirit is yearning for the beautiful One who captures the soul. So, with a yes on my lips I choose to live, but not without dying a crucified death. I say yes to the brokenness of the little woman that I am, if it means I get the treasure of finding you in the shattered pieces of this humbled heart.