It's interesting how most good things in life are birthed from a place of heartache or pain. Often the most important lessons are learned in the furnace of anguish. Many times change doesn't take place until we are fed up with our current circumstances. When our hearts break for something it spurs us to take action. This is the way God built us. We were meant to DO things.
Martin Luther King Jr. saw an injustice and his heart ached to see change for his people. He took initiative and sacrificed his life for what he believed in: that all people are created equally. God saw His children bound by laws that kept them far from His presence and He longed for restored relationship. From the aching of His heart He sent Jesus to die for our sins so that we could be cleansed and stand righteously before Him.
All that being said, this morning I felt like a failure.
Growing up is hard. We are not handed all the glories of life on a silver platter.
I got married in April of last year and even owning simple responsibilities like cleaning the house and doing the dishes felt like having the weight of the world on my shoulders. I would burst into tears because I felt like making a meal plan for the week was such a difficult task.
You see, I've never really had a job. I've always been well taken care of. I've never really known what it's like to labor and receive the reward for hard work. So, when I got married and Daniel's mouth was my responsibility to feed, I was a bit overwhelmed. It's kind of funny that in a few days I will literally be going into labor and in the end I will receive the reward of my daughter. I get to walk out what I'm learning.
I've come to realize that life isn't going to be handed to me. We must become people who pour our blood, sweat, and tears into what we are passionate about.
Let's be real. We all have those moments where we look at our lives and see that we are lacking.
This morning my husband, Daniel, sat down at the kitchen table after a two hour phone call with his old buddy from YWAM. They spent their time catching up and sharing their dreams with one another. As Daniel shared with me about their conversation I thought:
"What am I doing with my life? I have all these dreams and ideas that I've done nothing with. I get stuck and don't know where to start."
Somehow we moved to the living room floor (where all good conversations take place) and my shame turned into big, teary eyes.
God made me a dreamer; a visionary. I couldn't stop dreaming even if I tried. I’m always full of big ideas. However, I have the hardest time pursuing them. Being practical and taking initiative doesn't come naturally to me. It's easy to dream and want someone else to get their hands dirty. And yet, I'm aware that not much will get accomplished with that attitude.
We all want things in life. We all have ideas in our heads of the people we want to become.
I want to be an adventurer; a woman with fierce passion for what's in front of me. I want to be a go-getter, zealous about all realms of life. I want to live outside the box and never be bored. I want to be a fearless risk taker and love people with no reservations. I want to follow God wherever He calls me and be an obedient, teachable disciple. I want to be a faithful, devoted wife who doesn't weigh my husband down but gives him wings to fly. I want to be an inspiring mother. I want my children to know Jesus and find their satisfaction in relationship with him.
I know who I want to become. Am I there yet? No, but I'm on my way.
Even though this morning felt like a defeat, I see that it was actually a great victory. My heart aches to please God and to be someone He can partner with to change the world. Like I said earlier: many great accomplishments in life are birthed from heartache. I have big dreams and they are not going to be achieved over night. All I can do is take baby steps.
After my whirlwind of emotions had subsided my dear husband asked me, "How do you feel now?"
My answer: “challenged”.
I’m challenged to woman-up and go after my dreams. I have no desire to float through this life. Somewhere deep inside of all of us we want to make a difference and be influential. I mean heck, it makes sense, we're made in the very image of God who is the greatest go-getter I know.
Will I make mistakes? Definitely. Will I fail and fall flat on my face? Probably. We will become successful in life when we can experience pain, discouragement and failure, tell God how we feel and allow Him to resurrect our hopes and dreams.
Here's a question for us: What if we weren't afraid of failing?
What if I actually took initiative on those weekly worship nights my heart has been aching for and sent out an email? What if I wasn't afraid of no one wanting to come?
Here's an even crazier idea: What if we didn’t judge success by the outcome, but rather considered the mere risk of moving forward with our dreams as success?
We aren't meant to feel stuck. Our dreams were never meant to be hung above our fireplaces as great ideas that maybe one day we will give some time to. Our dreams should never paralyze us but launch us into our purpose. We can always be taking those baby steps towards our goals.
God honors hard work. He is delighted with the person who stewards the gifts He’s given them. Whether we do something simple or extravagant, He is blessed by our endeavors.
As I have been challenged, I now challenge you. What are your dreams?
I dare you. Take one of those dreams, get off your butt and do something about it.
One of my passions is to encourage young women to pursue their dreams, grow in character, and find intimacy with Jesus.
My baby step today is starting to blog again. I have no idea what this is going to look like or who will read these, but I'm committed to posting something every week for the next six weeks. I pray God will use my journey and my revelations to draw you closer to Him and get you stoked for a life of adventure.