tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57785833635558127132024-02-18T22:13:35.876-08:00Passionate PursuitKelly Mahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06170625658462999107noreply@blogger.comBlogger51125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5778583363555812713.post-32711041140964744372016-01-28T09:36:00.001-08:002016-01-28T09:36:25.625-08:00Thankful.<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal;">
Last night, after dinner, Daniel and I went on a date to Starbucks. Not a big fan of the bucks, but hey, I was getting out of the house and that was something worth celebrating. It was my first time in the car since coming home from the hospital a week ago. Thankfully it only took two minutes to get there. </div>
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I was pretty embarrassed to go out in public considering the last time I showered was Thursday, I think. I smelled. Odor wise definitely, but I think my bad attitude stunk worse. </div>
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Complaining hit me like a dark cloud last night. All I could see were the negative aspects of my situation, all the things I'm incapable of. Totally not fun to be around. </div>
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It just felt good for a moment to have a bad attitude (which I'm ashamed to say), to let the turmoil going on on the inside out in the most unattractive way. In my opinion a complaining person is extremely unattractive. And there I was complaining like a pouty 2 year old, letting my frustration, anger, and annoyance fester, like an open wound. </div>
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I didn't have to do that, but being thankful in that moment seemed like climbing Mount Everest with a broken knee, impossible. </div>
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When times are hard being thankful really feels like a full time job, at least in the beginning. I think we can train ourselves to be thankful and eventually it becomes second nature, a beautiful habit we don't want to break. </div>
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So there we were sitting at Starbucks with the tensions high, me in my wheelchair and Daniel sipping his chai latte. Daniel began to grill me with really hard questions. I really am thankful for a husband who will call out my crap and show me how far I've fallen, kindly remind me of the quality of woman that I am, then grab my hand and bring me back up the mountain of thankfulness, to my lovely perch where I sit as the queen of my household. Wives, moms, we really are the diffusers of our households. We affect more than we know. If there's junk going on in my heart, my family is going to feel that, be affected by that. It's a big job, one that takes loads of courage. I can either diffuse life, positivity, encouragement, and love or death, negativity, hopelessness, and frustration. </div>
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Sitting in the drive way after our twenty minute Starbucks date (that's all I could last, pathetic, I know) Daniel said to me something along these lines: "None of us are enjoying this time of recovery from your injury. It sucks, we miss you. BUT you're living in a fantasy right now. You think that life will <b>only</b> get better when you're fully healed, and that's not going to be for a long time. We need to figure out a way to thrive, to make this our new normal and do life even with your injury. I know it's not fun, but you need to find a way to be thankful. Whatever it is you need to find a way to change your mindset." </div>
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Ouch. Living in a fantasy? Right when the words came out of his mouth I knew that he was right. Immediately I was confronted, hit in the face, with all my selfishness. It was as if I was looking at myself in a mirror and watching all the moments I've complained since I broke my knee. It was gross, not fun to be with, lifeless, and super discouraging. I saw all the ways I've focussed on the things I can't do, instead of the things I can do. I may not be able to hold my daughters hand while she's learning to walk but she can sit on my lap and read a book with me. I may not be able to sit on the floor with her and play Legos, but we can go for joy rides in my pimped out wheel chair. I can still go to the bathroom by myself (that's new on the list) and lay in bed with my husband talking about life until we both fall asleep. Those are most definitely things to be thankful for. </div>
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Help me God to be thankful. I feel stuck in the sin of dissatisfaction and ingratitude. Give me eyes to see what you're doing and the beauty in it all. Help me to work hard at having a good attitude, like a full time job, give me endurance to become excellent. I desire to be joyful during this time and be present for my family in the way that they need me. They need my pursuit and my love, my words of encouragement and appreciation. I need help taking my eyes off myself, always thinking about me, me, me. I want to serve in the ways I can. Help me to be real with my emotions but not take things out on others. Perfect me in your love and thank you for covering my imperfections, for there are many. Thank you for your grace that covers me. </div>
Kelly Mahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06170625658462999107noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5778583363555812713.post-91827612461882914632016-01-13T15:23:00.001-08:002016-01-13T15:23:11.629-08:00Broken KneeThis is going to be a long road of recovery.<br />
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Here's what happened. So I play in a co-ed adult soccer league. It was my 4th game. I didn't start, but subbed in about ten minutes into the game. The ball was down on our side of the field in scoring position. My teammate pushed past one defender but sent the ball further than he intended placing it directly between me and a tall, male defender. He obviously saw me coming to possibly shoot on goal, so I'm pretty sure his idea was to get the ball as far down field as he could. His foot hit the ball at the exact same moment as mine, his impact a lot stronger than mine.<br />
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I immediately fell on the ground screaming and writhing in pain. I started to panic and couldn't control my breathing, until I heard someone's voice telling me to take deep breaths and try to stay still. I had a few moments of clarity where I could hear my own thoughts as if I was saying them out loud, "you can do this, you've birthed a child" or "where's Daniel, I want to hold his hand". I remember hearing the club owners voice say "Kelly, what are you doing...". I responded to her in my head thinking "what the hell does it look like I'm doing, I'm dying, get me an ambulance." Crazy person.<br />
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Daniel and a couple others quickly carried me off the field where I tried to be tough and act like it didn't actually hurt, when really I wanted to cry and cry and cry. And I did, once I got in the car. The pain was excruciating. Every bump on the way to the ER was enough to make me want to use every curse word in the books. Somehow I managed to find light in it all and made jokes about anything I could find funny about the situation. Daniel was glad that even through the pain and frustration I didn't lose my sense of humor.<br />
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At the hospital the doctor confirmed that it was broken and that I could possibly need surgery.<br />
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So now here I am, immobile me, sitting on our upstairs couch while my daughter is downstairs eating breakfast and playing with toys. I so badly want to be on the floor with her playing Legos like I normally do, but unfortunately I can't move.<br />
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I really do want to have a good attitude about this. It's really hard. I know I have a choice to be a Debbie Downer or find the good in all this.<br />
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What can I learn? God what are you wanting to teach me? Yeah, this sucks, and I dont think for a second I'm wrong for saying that, but I know God can turn any crappy situation into good.<br />
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Just this morning I noticed that if I watch Zoe from a distance I learn new things about her. The way she interacts with her toys and grandparents gives me new perspective. I'm always so up close and personal with her, always holding her and in her bubble. Watching her from a distance is like being in a fascinating art class or an engaging psychology class, where the teachers know how to make the lessons come to life. Zoe breathes curiosity and wonder. She's hilarious. She knows how to get what she wants and often plays the system to get it, which makes me laugh and want to spank her tiny butt at the same time. I could watch her for hours. Life just makes sense when she's around. She makes all the worries in the world float out the window and reminds me to notice the simple things I would normally glance over. Like the delicacy of a flower and how you have to hold it with such gentle care or it will crumble in your fingertips. Or the way learning to walk is a beautiful process and you have to really trust the person holding your hands. She teaches me more about life than a lot of books ever could.<br />
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I'm thankful for my parents. They've dropped everything to serve my family. They are my family. Family means everything to me. It literally makes my world go around. Without them I don't know what I'd do.<br />
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Last night Daniel told me he was proud of me for seeing an obstacle, finding a solution, and overcoming. His words are precious to me. I hide them away in the treasure troves of my heart. They build confidence in me. I really do feel like I can do anything. Partly because I have an incredible husband who tells me I can, and mostly because my confidence is in God. The God of the impossible. My God who is with me every step of the way, or in my case every "wobble".<br />
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Yesterday morning I was reading Psalm 112 like I'd never read it before. It was profound and moving.<br />
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Psalm 112 is all about the qualities of God and the qualities of the righteous, those who worship and revere the lord. It's about the benefits we receive when we delight in obeying His commands.<br />
It's about the legacy we leave behind when we honor God and live our lives unto him.<br />
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Verse 7 - "The righteous do not fear bad news; they confidently trust the lord to care for them."<br />
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I read the morning of my soccer game and as I read it I thought "Wow, I'd really like to be a woman like that, someone who doesn't fear bad news. I want to so deeply trust Gods goodness and faithfulness to take care of me in every situation."<br />
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Well, yesterday I received some pretty crappy news. Not funny. I was not thrilled to find out I broke my knee. My mind has felt like a battlefield from the moment the injury happened. I've felt discouraged, hopeful, hopeless, ashamed, frustrated, thankful, sad, and joyful all within the past 24 hours. Craziness.<br />
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I'm super bummed this happened to me but I'm ready to have my eyes opened to the beauty in times of trial. I know it's there and I know I will find it.<br />
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These moments really are priceless, getting to experience family at its fullest; a small army of people who gather for the same cause, in unity and in love. Fighting for one another, filling in for one another, praying and sacrificing, and caring for. Sacrificial, unconditional love is the most beautiful force I think I'll ever experience while I'm here on earth. That's Jesus in a nutshell. Love in its fullness. He is family. What a blessing.<br />
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I pray I NEVER take mine for granted. What would we do without these people God has over the top blessed us with? People who won't ever leave. There's something so safe about family. There's stability and safety even in the quirks and disfunction of humans trying their best to do life together. We were made for relationship. I think family is one of God's ways of satisfying our deep desire for friendship, for depth, and relationship. There's no greater love than one who would lay their life down for their friend.<br />
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I have that kind of love in my household. And for that I am thankful.Kelly Mahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06170625658462999107noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5778583363555812713.post-38377175355838435692015-06-10T21:15:00.000-07:002015-06-11T06:41:26.618-07:00My Birth StoryMy pregnancy was a beautiful time. Daniel and I had been married barely three months when we found out I was pregnant. Not planned, not prevented is what I tell people. Some people think we had a honeymoon baby, but they are mistaken. Zoe is a "day-after-the-honeymoon" baby. Glad I could clear that up. :)<br />
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My body changed slowly, but surely. In the first few months I often wondered if people thought I was just chubby or had eaten a really large meal. It wasn't until month six when my belly shot out. Yay, I finally looked pregnant! I LOVED being pregnant. Despite the morning sickness, tiredness, and the low sex drive (yup, I said it), pregnancy was a blast! I found a deep love for naps and the couch became a good friend of mine. Red meat became a new staple in my diet, which was probably Daniel's favorite part about my pregnancy. (Once a week burger dates are still ongoing) Pregnancy changes your life on many levels.<br />
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Everyday I would ponder the gift of life and stored treasured revelation away in my heart. It was hard to believe there was a tiny human living inside of me. I was her comfort, her growing place, her home. We went everywhere together. I would sing to her, pray over her, and tell her stories. I longed to meet her and hold her in my arms. I dreamed of her face and her laugh. I felt like I knew her already. With every kick, I knew her spunk. With every somersault I could envision the years to come of adventurous bliss alongside my sweet girl. She would be my right-hand girl, my song bird, my friend. She would be everything I dreamed of and more. And she is.<br />
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Fast forward to the last trimester, I was 39 weeks pregnant and looking more and more like I swallowed a beach ball. My hips were achey and I was SO ready to not be pregnant anymore. I knew I would be giving birth on February 5th. God told me so. I questioned him at first, but then I remembered the countless times he has proven to be accurate when he speaks. He knew the exact moment our girl would take her first breath.<br />
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I went into early labor on February 5th. The sun wasn't up yet, but I was. Annoying, sharp pains woke me up every hour. Thankfully I was able to go back to sleep, getting the much needed rest for the hard work ahead. I thought I was having Braxton Hicks (pre-term contractions that prepare the uterus for labor), but in reality I was beginning the long process of labor.<br />
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I was ready. Well, as ready as I could be. The fridge was stocked with coconut water and peanut butter energy balls (http://www.gimmesomeoven.com/no-bake-energy-bites/) I had been going to the gym weekly to prepare my body. I prayed over my body and my baby girl everyday, asking God to free me from fear and give me a peaceful labor. Zoe had two parents that loved her, clothes, a bed, and a bath. What more could a girl want? I prepared myself in the ways I knew how, but really only Jesus could prepare me for what was to come. My life was about to get turned upside down.<br />
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I woke Daniel up around 8 am and told him I thought I was in labor. The contractions were very mild, but still uncomfortable. I was able to go about my morning without thinking about them too much. Daniel decided to call his boss and take the day off work just in case things progressed. Daniel suggested taking a walk to take my mind off things and spend some time together.<br />
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Sitting at Starbucks the contractions came with greater intensity and frequency. I wanted to go home. I knew labor was advancing and I wanted to be in the comfort and familiarity of our house. As we ventured home I was having difficulty walking. We had to stop a few times so I could breath through the contractions and gain my composure again.<br />
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Arriving home, the contractions were even closer together. I could no longer focus on anything else but my body and remaining peaceful. Just to be sure I was in labor I asked God to give me a sign. I asked him to either allow my water to break or make my mucous plug come out, and about ten minutes later I lost my mucous plug. Daniel called our doula, updated her on my status, and she was on her way.<br />
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When Rebekah (my doula) arrived I was still doing pretty well. I was coherent and still in a relaxed mood. Rebekah informed me that labor would progress and come in waves. Each stage would bring more intensity, like climbing stairs. She encouraged me to eat something to boost my energy and walk around so labor would gain momentum. Daniel and I took a walk around our apartment building, but soon after leaving I needed to go back. Labor was progressing quickly.<br />
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Looking back, everything is a blur to me. Between the time Rebekah arrived and we left for the birth center I'm still confused about the order of events. I do remember the contractions building in intensity, but very slowly over time. Labor felt like it lasted a lifetime. I remember moving around a lot, trying different positions, crying, throwing up, and being afraid. I coped the best on all fours and found that swaying my hips back and forth helped ease the pain, a little. I didn't really know beforehand what I would be like during labor, but now I know that intense pain turns me inward. I spoke very little and focused all my attention and energy on getting through each contraction.<br />
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Daniel did an amazing job encouraging me and letting me know he was near. Rebekah would read scripture over me when the pain was too much to bear, and they both prayed me through my labor. I couldn't have done it without them by my side.<br />
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During my labor I had some of my favorite peaceful, inspirational music playing in the background. The words in the songs lifted me out of darkness in moments of fear. I was desperate for God's presence knowing that without him I wouldn't make it through another contraction. I felt weak and spent, but my body knew exactly what it was doing, even as it screamed defeat. In between contractions I would rest and open my mouth knowing Daniel would be there with a sip of water.<br />
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I never actually thought that I couldn't do it. I knew I was going to meet my little girl. The enemy tried to steal my hope, but he did not succeed. My trust was in the Lord. His peace was covering me. He was my strength when I felt weak and close to me every step of the way. I've never known his presence and strength in such a tangible way as I did then.<br />
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Just when I thought the pain couldn't get any worse, it increased. I couldn't handle it any more, letting Daniel know I was ready to leave for the birth center. I labored for close to 9 hours in our apartment before Rebekah made the final call that it was transition time. Pushing was on the horizon.<br />
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Looking back I find myself laughing at how dramatic I am when I'm exhausted. During one specific contraction Selena Gomez happened to pop up on my birth playlist. I still don't know how that got on there. I was in the zone and hearing some song about kissing boys totally ruined my groove. I think I actually got frustrated and reached for my phone to change the song. Atmosphere was everything.<br />
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Getting to the car was also a funny sight. I forgot to put on a bra, didn't even care to slip on my shoes, and I left the house without Daniel and Rebekah. At this point I was in a bit of a panic and wasn't thinking logically. I was in survival mode. My goal: get to the car without dying. I was desperate to leave and dreading the walk to the elevator and through the garage to our car. The hallway looked as if it was three times in length. I had around four very painful, full-body contractions before making it to the car, and one more kneeling down on the cement by the passenger side. I cared nothing about how I looked or the absurd noises I was making. All I wanted was to see the familiar faces of the midwives who would help get my baby out.<br />
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The seven minute car ride to the birth center was the worst. I thought I was going to explode. Her head was coming out and I had to force myself not to push. We pulled into the parking lot and I <strike>ran</strike> (waddled) through the doors of the birth center.<br />
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It was business time. I don't even remember saying "hi" to the midwives or even acknowledging them. I walked in the door, got on the bed in a position I knew well, and continued to labor. I told the midwives I wanted to push and they gave me permission. I was fully dilated and very ready to birth my baby. They coached me through different pushing techniques and with each push I gained confidence that I was almost to the finish line.<br />
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Two hours of pushing later I wasn't feeling as confident. I was defeated. They told me they could see her head, but I didn't care. I think someone even reached my hand down to touch it, but it only grossed me out. I was exhausted and wanted it to be over. Daniel was by my side every moment and even then his presence didn't give me the strength I needed to press on. That strength would need to come from somewhere else.<br />
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In between contractions I cried out asking how much longer it would be until she was born. My midwife, Callie, gently but firmly assured me that it was up to me. If I pushed with vigor and courage she would come out faster.<br />
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I love a challenge. It was exactly what I needed to hear to bear down and push with all my might. I gritted my teeth, pulled my knee up to my chin, took a deep breath, and pushed. I sounded like I was dying, but the dramatic noises were working. I would hear muffled voices telling me that I was doing amazing and she was almost out. Her head felt stuck and the burning was beyond anything I can explain. I was covered in sweat and in disbelief that the insane burning sensation was actually my daughters head. I couldn't think about it or I would have passed out. I gave about four mamma grizzly pushes and she was born! Relief hit me like a ton of bricks. I did it!<br />
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I had my eyes closed most of my labor and when I finally opened them it was to see my daughter being placed on my chest. A flood of emotions overcame me. I was in complete shock. The moment didn't feel real. My tiny daughter looked up into my eyes and I was forever changed. Daniel and I looked at each other in amazement. It's beautiful what our eyes can reveal. We were proud parents. Labor was over and our daughter was permanently part of us.<br />
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Our daughter, Zoe Josephine Ma was born at 11:42 pm. She was nineteen inches long and weighed seven pounds, one ounce. She was positively perfect. We brought her home around 3am and slept like bears in hibernation.<br />
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Our daughter's name fits her quite well. Zoe means "life" and Josephine means "the Lord increases". She is ever increasing in life and joy! She really does light up a room with her smile and has contagious joy bursts at the seams.<br />
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I wouldn't change anything about my birth story. Becoming a mom is better than I expected and harder than I imagined. The love that I feel for Zoe is powerful. I think the hardest part about being a mom so far is being confronted with my own selfishness. Thankfully God is patient and willing to take me around the mountain time and time again, teaching me the same lessons.<br />
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I have been trying to think of a way to end this post, but I'm finding it hard to close a story that is still being written. So, there you have it. My birth story. Now everyone go give birth. It's fun.<br />
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<br />Kelly Mahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06170625658462999107noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5778583363555812713.post-33441388362762085242015-01-31T23:48:00.001-08:002015-01-31T23:53:39.738-08:00Risk.It's interesting how most good things in life are birthed from a place of heartache or pain. Often the most important lessons are learned in the furnace of anguish. Many times change doesn't take place until we are fed up with our current circumstances. When our hearts break for something it spurs us to take action. This is the way God built us. We were meant to DO things. <br />
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Martin Luther King Jr. saw an injustice and his heart ached to see change for his people. He took initiative and sacrificed his life for what he believed in: that all people are created equally. God saw His children bound by laws that kept them far from His presence and He longed for restored relationship. From the aching of His heart He sent Jesus to die for our sins so that we could be cleansed and stand righteously before Him. <br />
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All that being said, this morning I felt like a failure. <br />
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Growing up is hard. We are not handed all the glories of life on a silver platter. <br />
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I got married in April of last year and even owning simple responsibilities like cleaning the house and doing the dishes felt like having the weight of the world on my shoulders. I would burst into tears because I felt like making a meal plan for the week was such a difficult task. <br />
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You see, I've never really had a job. I've always been well taken care of. I've never really known what it's like to labor and receive the reward for hard work. So, when I got married and Daniel's mouth was my responsibility to feed, I was a bit overwhelmed. It's kind of funny that in a few days I will literally be going into labor and in the end I will receive the reward of my daughter. I get to walk out what I'm learning. <br />
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I've come to realize that life isn't going to be handed to me. We must become people who pour our blood, sweat, and tears into what we are passionate about. <br />
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Let's be real. We all have those moments where we look at our lives and see that we are lacking. <br />
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This morning my husband, Daniel, sat down at the kitchen table after a two hour phone call with his old buddy from YWAM. They spent their time catching up and sharing their dreams with one another. As Daniel shared with me about their conversation I thought:<br />
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"What am I doing with my life? I have all these dreams and ideas that I've done nothing with. I get stuck and don't know where to start."<br />
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Somehow we moved to the living room floor (where all good conversations take place) and my shame turned into big, teary eyes. <br />
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God made me a dreamer; a visionary. I couldn't stop dreaming even if I tried. I’m always full of big ideas. However, I have the hardest time pursuing them. Being practical and taking initiative doesn't come naturally to me. It's easy to dream and want someone else to get their hands dirty. And yet, I'm aware that not much will get accomplished with that attitude. <br />
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We all want things in life. We all have ideas in our heads of the people we want to become. <br />
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I want to be an adventurer; a woman with fierce passion for what's in front of me. I want to be a go-getter, zealous about all realms of life. I want to live outside the box and never be bored. I want to be a fearless risk taker and love people with no reservations. I want to follow God wherever He calls me and be an obedient, teachable disciple. I want to be a faithful, devoted wife who doesn't weigh my husband down but gives him wings to fly. I want to be an inspiring mother. I want my children to know Jesus and find their satisfaction in relationship with him. <br />
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I know who I want to become. Am I there yet? No, but I'm on my way. <br />
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Even though this morning felt like a defeat, I see that it was actually a great victory. My heart aches to please God and to be someone He can partner with to change the world. Like I said earlier: many great accomplishments in life are birthed from heartache. I have big dreams and they are not going to be achieved over night. All I can do is take baby steps. <br />
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After my whirlwind of emotions had subsided my dear husband asked me, "How do you feel now?"<br />
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My answer: “challenged”. <br />
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I’m challenged to woman-up and go after my dreams. I have no desire to float through this life. Somewhere deep inside of all of us we want to make a difference and be influential. I mean heck, it makes sense, we're made in the very image of God who is the greatest go-getter I know. <br />
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Will I make mistakes? Definitely. Will I fail and fall flat on my face? Probably. We will become successful in life when we can experience pain, discouragement and failure, tell God how we feel and allow Him to resurrect our hopes and dreams. <br />
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Here's a question for us: What if we weren't afraid of failing?<br />
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What if I actually took initiative on those weekly worship nights my heart has been aching for and sent out an email? What if I wasn't afraid of no one wanting to come?<br />
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Here's an even crazier idea: What if we didn’t judge success by the outcome, but rather considered the mere risk of moving forward with our dreams as success?<br />
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We aren't meant to feel stuck. Our dreams were never meant to be hung above our fireplaces as great ideas that maybe one day we will give some time to. Our dreams should never paralyze us but launch us into our purpose. We can always be taking those baby steps towards our goals. <br />
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God honors hard work. He is delighted with the person who stewards the gifts He’s given them. Whether we do something simple or extravagant, He is blessed by our endeavors. <br />
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As I have been challenged, I now challenge you. What are your dreams? <br />
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I dare you. Take one of those dreams, get off your butt and do something about it. <br />
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One of my passions is to encourage young women to pursue their dreams, grow in character, and find intimacy with Jesus. <br />
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My baby step today is starting to blog again. I have no idea what this is going to look like or who will read these, but I'm committed to posting something every week for the next six weeks. I pray God will use my journey and my revelations to draw you closer to Him and get you stoked for a life of adventure.
Kelly Mahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06170625658462999107noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5778583363555812713.post-61442693632579508162014-09-28T19:14:00.000-07:002014-09-28T19:15:02.631-07:00seen.<div style="text-align: left;">
I believe in you more today than yesterday, that's good enough for me.</div>
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Sometimes I feel crazy believing in a man I cannot see,</div>
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but I know you're real...</div>
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because you've met me in my pain many times.</div>
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I'm not good at perfect</div>
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never have been, never will be.</div>
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These feet have walked a selfish road,</div>
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I thought the sun rose just for me.</div>
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I'm beginning to see and finally grasp</div>
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that beyond my little world,</div>
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there's a billion people</div>
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looking to find their purpose</div>
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searching to find who they're meant to be.</div>
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These tear soaked eyes haven't seen the last of their crying.</div>
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You never said this life would be easy or void of pain,</div>
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but in the midst of the pounds of my fists,</div>
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the screams, the pleas,</div>
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the restless nights, the longest of fights,</div>
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you promise me yourself.</div>
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A promise of hope.</div>
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There really is someone who understands, who holds our hand.</div>
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There really is a man who sits beside us when we think we're alone,</div>
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and catches our tears in his hands.</div>
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There really is one who sees the darkest parts and doesn't condemn,</div>
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but steps down from his throne to join me in the dust,</div>
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the very dust he formed me from. </div>
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He sees it all.</div>
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He comes to my level, grabs my face and says, </div>
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"child, you're not a disgrace."</div>
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There really is a God who sings a love song over my lifeless soul.</div>
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He's someone I long to know. </div>
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I'm done talking about you when I can talk to you.</div>
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I'm through saying all the right things, knowing all the right answers, </div>
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wearing this mask that holds me back from being seen</div>
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by the one who sets me free. </div>
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That's all I want to be; close to you and free.</div>
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Kelly Mahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06170625658462999107noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5778583363555812713.post-25737439709692098142014-09-25T09:04:00.000-07:002014-09-25T09:04:05.517-07:00journal entry. [ambassadors of Christ]Since Adam and Eve, this world has been rapidly declining in the areas of justice and righteousness. For a people made in the image of God, we sure don't represent Him well. We are called to live lives that resemble a God of Holiness. Corruption will be present as long as this world is present. As a follower of Jesus I am supposed to be influencing this world, not the other way around. Influencing a 'world gone mad' is no easy job. We must understand what we believe and why, so that in the face of persecution our feet are not moved. We must be able to walk into darkness and not be overcome. Our lights must be so radiant that darkness is expelled. We must be seen and noticed by those who don't know Jesus yet. We are ambassadors of Christ, sent out to represent Him to a dying world. <br />
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Do we look like Jesus as the body of Christ? Or do we look more like the hypocritical Pharisees? <br />
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There is a time coming when God will shake all that needs to be shaken. He will shake us to the very core and we will stand in the very fire of God. His all-consuming fire. What we believe will be put to the test. If we are open to the pain and suffering of God melting away the impurities from our lives, literally being stripped of everything that does not please him, I believe we will stand as an unshakeable bride. We will need seasons like this if we are real about bearing the name of Jesus. He wants no phony followers. He doesn't want to entertain those who seek only butterflies, good feelings and miracles. He is desiring to turn around and see an army of faithful followers behind him, with faces set like stone, willing to die for Him and for the sake of seeing His Kingdom advance. He wants to return and take His Bride with Him. <br />
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The culture of this world creeps in like a plague on those who are unaware and unprepared. We must understand the characteristics and qualities of our heavenly Kingdom to even think about battling against another. For our fight is not against flesh and blood. Things like comparison will begin to creep in and take root, unless we understand that in the Kingdom of God comparison doesn't belong. It only leads to death and diminishes the very person God made us to be. With the help of Jesus we will train ourselves to capture evil thoughts, submit them to the authority of Jesus, receive truth and change culture. <br />
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This is our job: to show the world there's a better way and to turn its culture upside-down by revealing one of righteousness and truth. Kelly Mahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06170625658462999107noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5778583363555812713.post-20521102283035338272014-07-15T17:24:00.004-07:002014-07-15T17:24:58.151-07:00Heart Cries.<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">I will feast on your body</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">Drink deep of your blood</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">I will <i>dwell</i> within your Spirit</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">Until you and I are <b>one</b>. </span></div>
Kelly Mahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06170625658462999107noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5778583363555812713.post-28141712670439965982013-10-24T19:33:00.000-07:002013-10-26T11:56:40.273-07:00up to speed.Life is a journey, full of exploration of the heart of God. It seems impossible to keep up with the blessings he is pouring out. I serve and delight in a God of surprises, tenderness, unconditional love and discipline. (I am just now learning to appreciate the discipline. Haha!)<br />
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Tides are changing here in Kona, Hawaii. Although the system of Ywam Kona stays the same, pumping missionaries into the nations, my life has taken a turn down a marvelous path called - marriage! <br />
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<i>Back Story</i> - Two years ago I made a decision that would forever change the course of my life. I chose to spend a year of my life with my eyes directly set on Jesus...with the twist of taking myself off the market of the dating scene. I was no longer datable. The only man I desired to be pursued by was Jesus and oh, did he steal my heart. The year began with Jesus showing me that I could trust him. I can't count how many times I ran away out of fear of disappointing him. Or how many times I had to lay down my desire to be married. He never gave up on me. He was always patient, but gently corrected me when I was believing lies. He revealed himself to me in such an extravagant way that I will never be the same. For the first time in my life I didn't need an earthly man to affirm me, or tell me my identity. I was completely and utterly consumed with the man Jesus and had discovered who I truly was. My identity was solidified on the steadiness of Jesus' words over my life. I found security in his eyes and safety in his arms. He became tangible and real to me during this season. Anytime I was alone, I felt the presence of a friend, a companion, and a lover. I let him see the dark areas of my heart and was surprised when he didn't turn away. He kept on loving me, romancing me, and sharing secrets. By the time February rolled around (the conclusion of my consecration) I was ready for round two. I didn't want my time with Jesus to end and I sure didn't want some imperfect man in my life after tasting and seeing the perfection and goodness of Jesus. But, Jesus assured me that our relationship would only keep growing and that marriage was a gift. He reminded me of the verse,<br />
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<span style="color: #444444;"><i>"But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass </i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444;"><i>the glory of the Lord, </i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444;"><i>are changed into the same image </i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444;"><i>from glory to glory, </i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444;"><i>even as by the Spirit of the Lord.</i></span><span class="p"><span style="color: #444444;"><i>" (2 Cor. 3:18)</i></span></span></div>
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<span class="p"><span style="color: #444444;"><span style="color: black;">He promised to take me from glory to glory, unveiling me, and showing me himself. That is a promise I still </span></span></span>cling to. When the year was over not much changed, except for being another eligible woman on the ywam base. The only detail that profoundly mattered was that my heart and mind had been completely transformed. </div>
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A few months later I had developed a deep friendship with a fellow staff of the school of worship, Daniel Ma. Daniel and I were students together the previous year, with very little interaction. We had moved into the same community house a year later, were co-leading outreaches, and began to hangout outside of "work". He became a safe place and a close friend whose company I really enjoyed. Long story short we developed feelings for one another and spent every day together for the past year. (detailed his/her view of the story and proposal coming soon) </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAWaSa8fAo-9K35_weGYK3vblbA787uVDyaArlXJmOeSMlp1TWBbRTMwqCEvnwQqVAoE4pblTPSWGMphOgEw7UFldfgVFJE0srbj0o-M1N8-QP15UvRATEdd5vR8BERhpQRsOz8uNZP-I/s1600/me+daniel.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAWaSa8fAo-9K35_weGYK3vblbA787uVDyaArlXJmOeSMlp1TWBbRTMwqCEvnwQqVAoE4pblTPSWGMphOgEw7UFldfgVFJE0srbj0o-M1N8-QP15UvRATEdd5vR8BERhpQRsOz8uNZP-I/s320/me+daniel.JPG" width="213" /></a></div>
And on September 25th my best friend got down on one knee and gave a grandeur speech, expressing his desire to spend the rest of his life for me. Caught off guard, but full of joy, I proceeded to weep before the Lord before I said yes to the man of my dreams. The moment I had been dreaming of for many years had finally come and it was even better than I could have imagined. God is a perfect match-maker. If I could add a heart-piece for you royal daughters who are reading this...stop trying to write your own love story, God writes the best ones. You will end up disappointed by trying to fit all the puzzle pieces together. Let God connect the dots and wait patiently as he reveals the masterpiece of a man he has for you. God's gifts are always perfect and well thought out. So, put the pens down, put on your blinders that keep you from having peripheral vision, and fix your eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of your faith. <br />
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Daniel is a lifelong gift given by a good Father. Though Daniel lacks in perfection (as do all humans) I delight in his character, passion, and deep love for God. He resembles Jesus in such a way that it takes me off guard sometimes. I am eternally grateful for this man. He brings out the best in me and finds joy in my quirks and our differences. He listens when I'm upset, leads me to Jesus when my vision is blurred, prays over me when I'm sleeping, reminds me time and time again who I am when I've forgotten, and pursues me like a man in the desert pursues water. The love I have for him is deeper than anything I've known. I am overjoyed to spend the rest of my life with him. The adventures ahead are unimaginable. The stretching as two become one, a graceful and ravishing dance. Kelly Mahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06170625658462999107noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5778583363555812713.post-10170478146387090002013-10-23T17:48:00.003-07:002013-10-23T17:48:39.076-07:00poetry.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1htoJGme76v291wwVDqcipyK2VdZKw2wK6PIA-IX1IA1hewh1tKM5B_tLYYye5OJm55RPHpdtl_z-QPoCZGy-CwnO3bkjtvUQ_J_TQ2j7iVntzjMNDTikr-e93TOkDVfaxQUJMEggVnk/s1600/engage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="130" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1htoJGme76v291wwVDqcipyK2VdZKw2wK6PIA-IX1IA1hewh1tKM5B_tLYYye5OJm55RPHpdtl_z-QPoCZGy-CwnO3bkjtvUQ_J_TQ2j7iVntzjMNDTikr-e93TOkDVfaxQUJMEggVnk/s200/engage.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
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stillness</div>
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bliss</div>
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time has stopped</div>
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silence</div>
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kiss</div>
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melodies sing on</div>
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a lovers gaze from across the way</div>
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sends my heart leaping</div>
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sun splashed memories</div>
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stamp their place in my heart</div>
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fall in a summers getaway </div>
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the place I call home</div>
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make my bed between two palms</div>
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the mist of the sea fills my lungs</div>
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eager, crisp smile</div>
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love on a face</div>
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childlike purity</div>
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he dwells in grace</div>
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awakened from a slumber</div>
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by the cooing of a turtledove</div>
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dreaming of lavender fields</div>
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and daisies dancing in my hair</div>
Kelly Mahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06170625658462999107noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5778583363555812713.post-32417653996528725132013-09-16T21:39:00.001-07:002013-10-23T16:49:59.843-07:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Kelly Mahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06170625658462999107noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5778583363555812713.post-29362533334983440732013-09-03T23:36:00.001-07:002013-09-03T23:36:09.577-07:00Thankfulness.Today I bought Malachi this 3-D shark pencil box. I saw him eying it at Target yesterday and felt the Lord nudge me to buy it for him. <br />
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The main reason he wanted it so bad was because it had a lock and key. <br />
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I remember as a kid loving anything that had a key I could hide. It was extremely special for me to have my very own box to put "secret things" into. For some reason I felt more grown up having a little privacy and knowing my parents wouldn't be able to find the key. The random objects I put in the box were my little secret. <br />
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I knew Malachi felt the same way, and God began to speak. <br />
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Our hearts are very precious to Jesus. There are treasures galore that only he can see, because he holds the key to our hearts. <br />
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I put the pencil box on Malachi's bed knowing that he would see it as he got into bed that evening, but I couldn't wait any longer. I really wanted to see his reaction. <br />
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I told him to go check his bed because I thought I saw something for him there. He ran into his room and a few minutes later ran back into the kitchen with the key in his left hand and the pencil box in his right. <br />
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I'm pretty sure he thanked me 20 times. <br />
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My heart burst open from his overflowing gratitude. The joy of giving was enough to put a smile on my face, but it brought me even more pleasure to see his beaming face and child-like excitement. <br />
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In the midst of observing his thrill, revelation of God's affections for his children occupied my thoughts. <br />
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I wonder how God feels when I thank him and appreciate his blessings??<br />
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He must be overjoyed when I acknowledge him and thank him for the gifts he gives. There's so much to be thankful for and so many ways to move his heart through thanksgiving. <br />
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My heart was so full seeing Malachi's response to my simple gift giving. <br />
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<i>How much better of a gift giver is God?</i><br />
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When we thank God for a gift we should have crowds gathered to gaze upon the symbols and fruit of his faithfulness and goodness, just like Zane (Malachi's brother), was bending over backwards to get one glimpse of the small gift Malachi had received. The kitchen was full of excitement as we watched Malachi radiate joy. <br />
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Every time we thank God and tilt our head toward heaven, his eyes light up and lock onto the face of his appreciative child.<br />
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There are innumerable things to be thankful for. Thank God for his gifts, for it is from his hand that blessings flow.Kelly Mahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06170625658462999107noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5778583363555812713.post-36989749974416037342013-06-11T02:03:00.000-07:002013-06-11T02:03:02.000-07:00Lovesong. Check out this original song my friend Daniel and I recorded. <br />
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<a href="https://soundcloud.com/kellyvictoria3/first-love" target="_blank">https://soundcloud.com/kellyvictoria3/first-love</a>Kelly Mahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06170625658462999107noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5778583363555812713.post-25703493623666571732013-04-20T01:50:00.001-07:002013-04-20T01:50:57.613-07:00Update!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMMRT0NO2_QRYiWhPZ-hUJiUEhr2pXODnSK-ZZsjEtHHOhQqH4qt52palrGB4Te_7qfdSlgtmhcvXKd8Z4CLmsivDZ9fTTEr6Weyr_igxKPjQ-Jr1DFI34cf_erbHmFQUpUo4RMpCGM2o/s1600/support+letter.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMMRT0NO2_QRYiWhPZ-hUJiUEhr2pXODnSK-ZZsjEtHHOhQqH4qt52palrGB4Te_7qfdSlgtmhcvXKd8Z4CLmsivDZ9fTTEr6Weyr_igxKPjQ-Jr1DFI34cf_erbHmFQUpUo4RMpCGM2o/s640/support+letter.jpg" width="494" /></a></div>
<br />Kelly Mahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06170625658462999107noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5778583363555812713.post-89355151788815163072013-02-12T23:19:00.000-08:002013-02-12T23:21:18.536-08:00Humbled Heart<div style="text-align: left;">
<i></i>Today the Lord asked me a difficult question. As I peered past rows of the heads of my fellow peers to make eye contact with the speaker up front, Papa spoke...</div>
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<span style="color: #134f5c;"><i>"If your whole life was spent in the background, never being noticed or acknowledged as some great leader or accomplishment would you still give your life to follow me? If you were never considered a spiritual giant of your age, would I still be enough?"</i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #134f5c;"><span style="color: black;">Tough question.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #134f5c;">Like David, I would be hidden in the caves of those who are nameless and faceless. Singing my songs to the bare walls of the underground chamber, the echo of my beating heart my only companion. Dreams and vision for another occasion, no one to share my deepest desires. My only satisfaction would be knowing He is pleased, a warm smile painted across His face to wipe the fears away. The only praise to reach my ears would be that of a Perfect Father. Praise of man would never be my enemy. With no stage or platform this pen and paper my storyboard. Living for the audience of one. Would I give up seeing my name in the lights...hearing the applause of a world gone mad? If I followed my flesh, the answer would be a lifeless no. But my spirit is yearning for the beautiful One who captures the soul. So, with a yes on my lips I choose to live, but not without dying a crucified death. I say yes to the brokenness of the little woman that I am, if it means I get the treasure of finding you in the shattered pieces of this humbled heart. <i> </i></span></div>
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Kelly Mahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06170625658462999107noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5778583363555812713.post-33602038262670181872013-01-01T17:01:00.002-08:002013-01-01T17:06:39.764-08:00Transparency with Papa God.<br />
This is a journal entry I found from a while ago. I felt moved to share my honest pleas to Papa God.<br />
We can be honest with Him, besides He knows it all anyways ; )<br />
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<span style="color: purple;">My eyes can't hold it in any longer.</span></div>
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<span style="color: purple;">I'm more broken than I think.</span></div>
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<span style="color: purple;">These lies have haunted me for so long, I feel attacked on every side.</span></div>
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<span style="color: purple;">Issues I thought I'd dealt with are getting brought up again.</span></div>
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<span style="color: purple;">Right when I think I'm doing okay, I find myself running back into your arms. </span></div>
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<span style="color: purple;">It's the only place I feel safe. </span></div>
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<span style="color: purple;">I'm still learning to trust the one who's the most trustworthy.</span></div>
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<span style="color: purple;">How can I let anyone else in?</span></div>
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<span style="color: purple;">I've hid these shameful secrets in a closet and locked the door, the deceiver holds the key. </span></div>
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<span style="color: purple;">I'm ready to take it back and unlock the door.</span></div>
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<span style="color: purple;">The thing the enemy called my weakness will now become my strength.</span></div>
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<span style="color: purple;">I'm tired of pretending I have it all together. </span></div>
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<span style="color: purple;">My mind is a place of wicked thoughts, Jesus sweep it out, clean away the dust and the cobwebs.</span></div>
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<span style="color: purple;">You are clothing me in the whitest linens.</span></div>
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<span style="color: purple;">I've said, "You have my whole heart...", but now I'm realizing I've withheld, out of fear of giving it all</span></div>
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<span style="color: purple;">Love scares me.</span></div>
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<span style="color: purple;">Love means intimacy, not just physically, but it means my heart is exposed.</span></div>
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<span style="color: purple;">Thank you for not forcing yourself on me.</span></div>
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<span style="color: purple;">I can hold your hand for now, I know you're patient.</span></div>
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<span style="color: purple;">I know you're gentle.</span></div>
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<span style="color: purple;">You're teaching me what love really is.</span></div>
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<span style="color: purple;">You're not a fantasy.</span></div>
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<span style="color: purple;">You don't exist for me, I exist for you.</span></div>
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<span style="color: purple;">I feel trapped in this body of sinful desire.</span></div>
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<span style="color: purple;">Sometimes I wish I could fly away and escape this world. </span></div>
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<span style="color: purple;">You keep me sane. </span></div>
Kelly Mahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06170625658462999107noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5778583363555812713.post-86091386714557323212012-10-04T20:49:00.003-07:002012-10-04T20:49:32.370-07:00Stand in the RainI always forget how powerful my brother's testimony is....<br />
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Today I was reminded. <br />
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One of the students in the School of Worship I'm staffing asked, "Do you have any brothers or sisters?"<br />
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Little did he know the conversation he was about to be launched into. <br />
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Nonchalantly I responded, "Yes, but my brother is in heaven."<br />
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I could tell my response kind of shocked him. He quickly apologized and asked what had happened. <br />
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Before I knew it I was in a thirty minute, in depth story about who my brother was, our relationship, how he influence our family, his accident and death, then how God had transformed my broken family from ashes to beauty.<br />
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At this point my new friend was probably on his third round of tears. Real men cry. <br />
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I was even overwhelmed by the intense emotion. It's been a while since I've shared that part of my testimony and allowed my mind to go back to those painful memories. Like many times before I sat there in silence, amazed at God's faithfulness. <br />
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As I drove home from an emotional morning of repentance (thanks to Daniel Lehmann's teaching on Ezekiel 44 hahaha) and then sharing my testimony, Papa was speaking to my heart. He simply put an impression on my heart that he wanted to show me something when I got home. <br />
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I pulled up to the house, parked my care, and hurriedly went straight to the keyboard. <br />
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Right away two songs popped into my head. "Give us Clean Hands" by Chris Tomlin and "Stand in the Rain" by Superchick. Two bands that I would normally not listen to, but I knew there was a reason God was highlighting them to me.<br />
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I began to play the song by Chris Tomlin, remembering the revelation Jesus gave me the night before about repentance. I began to declare the song over the YWAM Kona campus asking God to clean our hands and our hearts, to make us humble at the start of a new quarter. As I moved to the next song, I could sense the Holy Spirit's presence increase, like a bomb was about to be released. <br />
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The song "Stand in the Rain" actually has a ton of significance in my family. It was one of my brother's favorite songs. As I was singing the words at the top of my lungs, I could picture Zachary, when the song would come on the radio he would belt out every word as if his life depended on it. <br />
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It never made sense to me why he loved that song so much, I mean the whole song was about a girl who was depressed and struggling. Until today, I could never put a finger on it. I never understood the power of the words over my life until like a flood, the revelation rains began to pour. <br />
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Jesus spoke to me and said,<br />
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"Kelly, every time Zachary sang this, without knowing, he was singing it over your life. He was singing and declaring you through a season you both had no idea was coming. He declared over you that you <u><b>were</b></u> going to stand in the rain, but you <b><u>were</u></b> going to stand your ground. When it was all crashing down and when you thought you were going to drown because the pain was so intense, I knew you would make it through. I knew that what was lost would be found. I knew you would come back to me in the end, even through the torrential downpours. </div>
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<u><b>Your brother sang you into your destiny.</b></u>"</div>
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WOW!!!</div>
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Slap in the face. No words can explain the emotions that came after that bomb was dropped. </div>
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Even after the death of my bro, and the years of rebelling and turning my back on the Lord...I still made it through. Even when I felt so alone and like I was drowning in my emotions and I couldn't fight any longer, God was faithful. When I finally stopped running and gave up pushing Him away, He intervened and changed my life forever. He finally had my heart. </div>
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For so long my brother's death defined who I was. It wasn't just a part of my testimony, but it <u><b>was</b></u> my testimony. It wasn't healthy. I felt like my identity was a "broken daughter" not a "royal daughter". </div>
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For the past three years now I can boldly stand before Jesus, friends and family with a healed heart and a firm grasp of my identity in Jesus. I <b><u>am not</u></b> defined by my brokenness or sin. My testimony is no longer "hey, everyone look at how broken I am, feel sorry for me, pity-party"...its now:</div>
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<b>"EVERYONE!!! LOOK AT HOW GOOD <u>JESUS</u> IS AND WHAT <u>HE</u>, IN HIS LOVING KINDNESS AND MERCY BROUGHT ME THROUGH!!! ALL GLORY TO HIM!!! LOOK WHAT HE CAN DO WITH A BROKEN PERSON!!! ISN'T HE BEAUTIFUL!!!"</b> </div>
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Jesus is a healer.</div>
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Jesus is a restorer.</div>
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Jesus is a lover.</div>
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Jesus is a savior. </div>
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4 years ago heaven gained a pretty rad 12 year old boy who taught me what life was all about and who told me to never give up even when the rains kept falling. I am forever grateful for the life of my brother and his death that shook my family to the core and sent us onto a lifetime adventure of falling more in love with Jesus. </div>
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I wouldn't be where I am today if it weren't for my Jesus and Zachary Thomas Weimer.</div>
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Kelly Mahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06170625658462999107noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5778583363555812713.post-20800471559680666052012-09-12T21:12:00.001-07:002012-10-04T20:51:12.613-07:00Honesty.<div style="text-align: center;">
I may not know<span style="font-size: small;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"><u><span style="font-size: small;">exactl</span></u><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><u>y</u> </span></span><span style="font-size: small;">what I'm doing with my life...and I <u>definitely</u> don't have it all together. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>I'm actually a mess.</i> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">I may not be qualified </span></span>or have all the right words to say. </div>
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I struggle. I'm broken. I desperately need Jesus.<br />
We don't get to wait to offer our lives until we have our acts together. </div>
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<u>BUT</u>...one thing I know: </div>
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I know how to love extravagantly.</div>
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I know how to pour out my heart.</div>
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I know how to put my trust in a God I cannot see. </div>
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I know how to speak courage and demolish people's fears.</div>
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And I know that I'm in love with the creator of the stars...</div>
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wildflowers...</div>
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love...</div>
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beauty...</div>
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sunsets...</div>
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hummingbirds... </div>
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colors...</div>
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music...</div>
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and the ocean. </div>
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I have all that I need. </div>
Kelly Mahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06170625658462999107noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5778583363555812713.post-24726419358333425352012-08-16T12:06:00.000-07:002012-08-16T12:19:34.638-07:00The beauty of this man.<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; font-size: small;"><b><span style="color: purple;">"My precious daughter, I am creating a prince for you, but can you wait? Can you rely on me as your love source in this waiting period? I want to lavish my love on you more during this time than any other. I know how much your heart hurts, I know this isn't easy. Have faith that my timing is perfect and I am working in your prince so he will be perfect for you. You are going to be blown away. But for now, cling to me my daughter. Don't let go, for its the times you let go when the world will seem like its crashing down all around you. Wrap your arms around my neck and let me comfort you, let <u>ME</u> do the work. This is a time for you to remember my love for you. A time for you to receive, a time for you to be still in my presence. I want to take you away to a special, deep place in my heart where there is no pain or confusion. It's a place where the water is as still as glass and all you can hear is my voice and the faint sound of heaven's melodies. Where peace is constant and the grass sways with the rhythm of my breath. Where the wind is a reflection of the Holy Spirit, it speaks softly of my love for you. Don't let this world steal your joy, don't listen to the voice of others, only mine. All your value comes from me. Don't be discouraged my child. Don't think I don't know the depths of your heart, I care about the desires in your heart. Your heart actually aligns with mine a lot more than you think. I love your honesty. Don't be afraid that I'm not going to bless you. I want to bless you more than your brain can comprehend. I adore you."</span></b></span><br />
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Kelly Mahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06170625658462999107noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5778583363555812713.post-64466624932045552222012-08-08T06:15:00.001-07:002012-08-08T06:15:55.271-07:00Intimacy.<div style="text-align: center;">
As I lay my head against your chest,</div>
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I hear your heartbeat.</div>
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The only words I can muster up are: </div>
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<i style="color: #3d85c6;">"you fulfill me"</i></div>
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I can never get enough. </div>
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I am lovesick.</div>
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Take me deeper, show me your glory. </div>
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I'm safe in your arms. </div>
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Take me to a place where only you & I can go.</div>
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Let's get lost in the wildflowers, </div>
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and nap under the oak tree. </div>
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I just want you near. </div>
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Your voice is my oxygen.</div>
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I need you. </div>
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The world fades away when I'm in your embrace.</div>
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Time stops when I'm with you. </div>
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You are the love song I'll sing forever. </div>
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In my brokenness, you find beauty. </div>
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When I want to run away,</div>
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when I feel dirty and ashamed,</div>
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You hold me still </div>
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You pull me closer</div>
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and call me beautiful.</div>
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In your presence I stand redeemed</div>
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Dripping in the <span style="color: #741b47;">blood of the lamb</span></div>
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Drenched in the love of the Son</div>
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You knocked and I answered</div>
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You pulled me from the mud,</div>
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dusted off the filth,</div>
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now I shine for you. </div>
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You're always faithful. </div>
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You're writing my story.</div>
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You've captured my heart, </div>
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and I count it all as loss</div>
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For the sake of knowing you.</div>
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<br /></div>Kelly Mahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06170625658462999107noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5778583363555812713.post-58773076450426345792012-07-12T10:02:00.000-07:002012-07-12T10:33:35.883-07:00Beauty.July 12, 2012.<br />
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Sitting on a dock at the lake, I looked down and saw hundreds of small fish surrounding me. I noticed that the murky water made the fish look like they were an ugly, brown color. But, as the fish popped their heads out of the water and I looked closer, when the sun hit them, they were actually a brilliant rainbow color.<br />
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It reminded me of how we can look at people with worldly eyes and put the world's standard of beauty on them. The world says you have to be a certain weight and look a certain way to be beautiful.<br />
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<b><u>Who defined beauty???</u></b></div>
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Beauty is God. Period. And whatever He touches is made beautiful. If this is true, then we are <b>ALL</b> radiant because we are <b>ALL</b> His children, whether we know it or not. We are formed by His very own hands; created in His image. Therefore, we are His masterpieces. Ultimately, this means if we bash any of His children by calling them ugly, we are telling God He didn't know what He was doing when He created us. Which is utterly stupid. It's not in God's nature to do a bad job. <br />
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If you ask the Lord to show you what He thinks of a person . . . be prepared to be hit with an overwhelming love. You are probably going to tell that person how beautiful they are in every way possible over a hundred times. haha. God can't keep His eyes off His creation. He is moved by our beauty. With our physical eyes we may not be able to see this beauty, but with our spiritual eyes we will be overwhelmed by true beauty.<br />
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For example, yesterday in Boston, I found this flower shop and bought a rose to give to an elderly woman that the Lord would show me as I was walking. We walked for a while but nobody stood out to me. God told me to go down this alley and there, sitting on the stoop of her house, smoking a cigarette, was the woman I was to give the flower to.<br />
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I walked up to this woman and could hear in my head all the lies that had been spoken over her about her appearance. According to worldly standards this woman was plain, wouldn't turn your head. She was about 55 with graying hair. She turned my head though, and no doubt had Jesus' full attention. I saw a ruby in the dust of lies. Jesus thought this woman was beautiful, beyond beautiful . . . RAVISHING! What Jesus thinks about His daughters and sons is 100% truth. His thoughts about us should be our identity.<br />
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Before I even spoke to her the Lord showed me a calloused, hurt heart and I knew it was going to be difficult to break through.<br />
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I simply told her what Jesus thought of her. I told her she was beautiful and that Jesus loved her. I attempted to hand her the rose, but she just blankly starred at me like..."are you for real, lady?" She asked me...<br />
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<b>"What's the catch?"</b></div>
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I explained to her there was no catch and explained to her Jesus' love. She thought I wanted money. I made it clear to her that we can't buy Jesus' love, it's a gift; and that He paid the price for her, and all she had to do was receive it. </div>
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She was super confused, but you could tell she felt special. In the end she was able to accept the rose. Maybe she wasn't able to receive Jesus or the words He was saying over her, but accepting the rose was a huge step for this beautiful Bostonian woman. </div>
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The rose was planted and as others water it, it will soon become a stunning rose bush!<br />
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Another aspect of life where the Holy Spirit has been revealing beauty to me is: <u>in myself</u>. This sounds funny, like I'm saying..."Oh wow, I'm so beautiful!" But, like I said earlier...if Jesus says I'm beautiful, then I am! haha! Isn't that cool?! If Jesus says I'm going to speak in front of thousands of women, then I am. If Jesus says you're a forerunner for the Kingdom of God, then prepare yourself, because you're a pioneer! <br />
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This leads into a season the Lord has been calling me into for a while, a humbling season of true beauty. The Lord has made an impression on my heart to do a<br />
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<b><u>40 day make-up fast! </u></b></div>
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The purpose of this fast is to rally together a group of women who have a rock solid faith and foundation in the Lord to go into battle for a generation of women caught up in self-hatred and striving to make themselves beautiful with make-up, clothes, over-exercising, anorexia, etc. I'm totally not against make-up, I barely wear any myself, but I thought it would be a perfect thing to give up for 40 days as a symbol of laying down anything to cover up our true beauty as women. There's a reason why it's called cover-up, it covers up blemishes that this world says are ugly, when honestly I think the Lord delights in our imperfections. He actually thinks WE LOOK PERFECT!!! Let that blow your mind. We are perfect in His sight. Think of how different this world would be if a generation of confident, bold, courageous, beautiful woman took a stand and said THIS IS WHAT TRUE BEAUTY IS!!! WE ARE BEAUTIFUL BECAUSE GOD SAYS WE ARE LOVELY!!! NOT ONLY ARE WE BEAUTIFUL ON THE OUTSIDE BUT ON THE INSIDE BECAUSE WE REFLECT OUR HEAVENLY FATHER!!! Think of how much this will help our brothers in Christ to keep their eyes on Jesus when they see their sisters protecting them by dressing our bodies appropriately. </div>
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It breaks my heart when I see women dressing in skin tight mini skirts, begging for the eyes of men to give them a passing glance. I used to dress like this and cake my makeup on, and honestly it brings no satisfaction...it's actually quite uncomfortable. haha. These women need to be told they are beautiful without trying and that Jesus is undone by their elegance. </div>
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WOMEN OF GOD LET'S TAKE A STAND!!! JOIN ME FOR A 40 DAY MAKEUP FAST!!! </div>
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It may be hard, but it will be so worth it. God will pour out His grace on you and you will radiate the beauty of the Father more than ever. Let's see an end to self hatred, eating disorders, and low self esteem!!! </div>
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</div>Kelly Mahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06170625658462999107noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5778583363555812713.post-78479761801970113162012-06-04T16:32:00.001-07:002012-06-05T10:21:29.553-07:00A Divine Romance.I searched my whole life for a love that could satisfy. I looked in all the wrong places, leaving with a broken heart every time. I was beyond confused. Why couldn't I fill this empty place in my heart? Why was true love so hard to find?<br />
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<b><i>"If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me."</i></b></div>
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Little did I know, there was a man pursuing me my whole life. A man who desperately wanted my heart and attention. Time and time again I turned to lesser lovers, leaving this man waiting at the door of my heart...out in the cold. What a gentleman, never forcing himself upon me. Always waiting patiently, with a heart of grace and open arms.<br />
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When I was shattered and alone, feeling ashamed and dark, and all my lovers had left me...he was still there. This mysterious man on a valiant white horse always whispering to me...<br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"> <i><b><span style="color: purple;">"Beloved...take my hand...follow me...I will fulfill you...I will protect, value, and love you...please be mine."</span></b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">He was amazing at soothing my soul and taking away all my fears and filling me with peace. But, what if he hurts me like all the other guys with their cunning words and manipulative behavior</span>? </div>
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<u>SOMETHING ABOUT THIS MAN WAS DIFFERENT</u>. He was trustworthy, it was written all over his face. He had purity in his eyes, his voice brought peace. A love I never knew saturated my soul at the very glance of his eyes. I saw fire. He moved me to tears when he would say my name. He was perfect, I couldn't find a single fault. </div>
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Could this be the love I had been searching for my whole life???</div>
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All of a sudden, my spirit was taken to a different scene and I was standing on a hill looking at this same man, but this time he was hanging on a cross, nails through his hands and feet, bleeding, bruised, and disfigured. There on his face was the same passion and love I had seen before. What was it about this man that stirred my heart? On his head was a crown of thorns and above the cross it read...</div>
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<i><b><span style="color: purple;">"King of the Jews"</span></b></i></div>
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<span style="color: black;">What mockery! Who would do such a horrible thing to this man who treated me with gentle kindness</span>? He acted more like a king than any man I had ever met. He carried incredible authority. Why hadn't he fought back when they did this to him? </div>
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I was beginning to realize this was no ordinary man. This was a man with supernatural supremacy, a man whose love was birthing a change in me and breaking down the walls I had built up around my heart. As I stood before him, I began to cry. I couldn't comprehend why my new friend was dying before my very eyes and why there was nothing I could do about it. </div>
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"WHY...I don't understand", I said under my breath. </div>
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<i><b><span style="color: purple;">"Beautiful one, I did this for you. I died so you could live. Though your sins were many, from this day forward you are washed white as snow. I was pierced for your rebellion, crushed for your sin. I was beaten so you could be whole. I was whipped so you could be healed. I came so you could have a relationship with my Father. I purchased your freedom with my own blood. I am in love with you...you have captured my heart. Will you surrender your life to me? Will you lose your life, so you can gain it in me?"</span></b></i></div>
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<span style="color: purple;"><span style="color: black;">"Yes, yes I will! You're worthy of it all, but who exactly are you?"</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: purple;"><span style="color: black;">And with his last breath he proclaimed...</span></span></div>
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<i><b><span style="color: purple;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: purple;">"I am Jesus, the son of God. The Beginning and the End. I am the One who is, who always was, and who is still to come, It is finished."</span></span></span></b></i></div>
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<span style="color: purple;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: purple;"><span style="color: black;">Wow! Jesus! The Son of God. I had heard his name before, but nobody told me is was <u>THIS</u> awesome!!! Nobody told me he was <u>THIS</u> personal and that HE LOVED ME <u>THIS</u> much! I had FINALLY found a love that I knew would quench me for the rest of my life. And, to think <u><b>I</b></u> captured His heart, even when I was stuck in my sin. I wanted to know everything about this man, Jesus. I was falling head over heels, He had won my heart. He even called me His bride. My life would never be the same. I had encountered a love like no other, a love that consumed my every thought and action. </span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: purple;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: purple;"><span style="color: black;">If only I found Jesus sooner it would have saved me from so much heartache, but no looking back now! </span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: purple;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: purple;"><span style="color: black;">I was ready to set out on an adventure with Jesus, His Father, and Holy Spirit! I don't just get one...I GET ALL THREE!!! </span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: purple;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: purple;"><span style="color: black;">Now, as I've been walking, talking, living, breathing, dancing, and singing with Jesus the past 3 years, I still feel like a new born baby. I'm constantly being undone by new revelations of who God is and His unfailing, unconditional love blows me away daily. Every day I wake up and fall in love with Jesus like it's the first time I met Him. His faithfulness never ceases to amaze me and <u><b>he's a blast</b></u>. I love the Holy Spirit, He makes life exciting and spontaneous. </span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: purple;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: purple;"><span style="color: black;">Jesus Christ who gave His life for me is a beautiful, sacrificial lover who is searching for those who will lay down their lives for the sake of loving and following Him. He pursues His children like a man in the desert pursues water. He truly is better than anything this world has to offer us. </span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: purple;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: purple;"><span style="color: black;">I want everyone to fall in love with Jesus. </span> </span></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>Kelly Mahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06170625658462999107noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5778583363555812713.post-47325373752241713402012-04-14T14:54:00.000-07:002012-04-14T14:54:21.015-07:00Hippie Hill.I didn't know such darkness existed in the United States. I've been to many countries, a lot of third world countries, but I have never felt so much evil, demonic darkness as I did yesterday at Hippie Hill in San Francisco, CA. Our strategy was to stand on Hippie Hill and declare God's goodness and to praise Him with joyful hearts. We yelled out to San Francisco... <span style="color: purple;">"BEHOLD YOUR GOD, HERE IS YOUR KING!"</span><br />
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We faced a ton of persecution and demonic hatred. One guy even laughed in my face as I proclaimed my love for Jesus. But, as we pushed past all that junk, we saw hope for San Francisco. <span style="color: purple;">Hippie Hill will be known as "Preachers Hill and a park where revival meetings will take place." </span><br />
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<span style="color: purple;"></span>People saw Jesus in us, some fled with fear, others gathered with interest, and in one situation attacked. (not physically)<br />
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We were walking back to the bus stop when out of the corner of my eye I saw a man cursing and harassing a woman. Of course the Lord asks me to stare at him. So, we made eye contact and the Lord specifically spoke to me "<span style="color: purple;">do not take your eyes off this man</span>." The more I stood my ground, the more furious he became. Then he started toward to me. That's when my 3 amazing brothers in Christ stepped in front of me like a blockade of warriors. Not for one second did I feel like I was in danger nor was I fearful. We knew the authority we had over this demon possessed man. His name was David (at least that's what he told us), and like many testimonies from demon possessed people, he had been hurt by the church/Christians. It's sad that Christians can sometimes be some of the most hurtful people on this planet. We talked (more like he talked) for a good 30 minutes and every other word coming out of his mouth was the F bomb or any other derogatory, insulting word you can think of. He mixed scripture with curse words and spit in the face of my friend Matt many times. At one point this man looked like he went into a trance and recited Psalm 63 word for word. Demons know scripture. When I looked into his eyes I couldn't help but cringe, this man David, was no where to be found, because of all the drugs and the demon that was terrorizing him. My heart broke for this man. He finally let my brother Matt pray for him and he flat out agreed he had demons in him, but he didn't want to be delivered. Many times he threatened to slap Matt in the face and at one point had him by the collar. Matt stood firm and shared his testimony with the man. Our bus finally arrived and we left the darkness. <br />
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The Spiritual Realm is real whether we like it or not. Our enemies are not flesh or blood, but the evil spirit that has taken over the body. The cool thing is...we have the holy spirit inside of us and the demons cower in fear at the sound of Jesus' name. There is no fear when we are lovers and followers of Jesus Christ, because He has given us authority in His name. He is the all powerful, almighty God and darkness trembles when His name is spoken. <br />
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It's crazy how sheltered we are in our own little bubbles. I'm glad the Lord has called me on this adventure. We weren't called just to live simply and comfortably in our Christian bubbles. We were meant to befriend tax collectors, prostitutes, pimps, alcoholics, drug dealers...what the world would call "the scum of the earth". <br />
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Jesus' love doesn't change for them. The only difference between us and them is: they've been so blatantly deceived by the enemy and have never experienced the love of Christ. The enemy has such a grip on them, and if we never go out and hangout with these people, Jesus in us will never get a chance to set them free. <br />
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God's perfect love sets people free. There is no denying it. He is amazing and everyday I wake up overwhelmed at the unconditional love He has for His people, even when they spit in His face and deny His very name. If only they could see...Kelly Mahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06170625658462999107noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5778583363555812713.post-15778588383658472422012-04-10T12:13:00.000-07:002012-04-10T12:13:36.115-07:00Compassion.The day before Easter we sat around a bonfire outside my aunt's house discussing where to go for Easter service. We were trying to decide whether to go to Matt Urspringer's home church, New Wine, or the church Brenee' interns at, Mountainbrook. We came to the conclusion that Mountainbrook would be the best bet so the team could meet Brenee' and scope out the church, for that Wednesday when we would be having our worship night there. So, the next morning we drove "the beast" up to SLO and went to the Mountainbrook 9 am Easter service. The location of the church was gorgeous, up on a huge grassy hill with horses grazing in the pasture beside the church.<br />
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In the middle of the service Annie tapped me on the shoulder and pointed to a section in the church bulletin that read "PRAY FOR JESSICA". I read further to find out she was in the UCLA Pediatric Hospital with Encephalitis which is irritation and swelling of the brain, most often due to infection. The virus can cause wreckage of nerve cells, bleeding in the brain, and brain damage. My heart was moved, considering my brother passed away from swelling of the brain.<br />
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The Lord reminded me of a vision He showed me. In the vision He handed me a key with a bronze brain on the top. He said,<br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: blue;">"Kelly, I'm giving you access in heaven to the room with all the perfect brains in it. All you have to do is ask and you will receive. Your brother wasn't healed because I had different plans, but I want to bless you and say that through your hands many brains will be healed and all will see my power and glory."</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: black;">So, my first reaction to reading about Jessica was: WE NEED TO GO AND PRAY FOR HER! Another guy on our team, Matthew Combe, read the first line and started weeping. We knew the Lord wanted us there. I asked Brenee' if she could contact the mom or us and when she called and said that a group of us wanted to come pray for her daughter her mom was moved to tears and said of course. </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: black;">The next morning I called the mom, Bonnie, to see when the best time to head down to LA would be, because it was an hour drive for us. She said around 11, and it was already 9 am. So, I woke up the boys and with a few minor complications, a coffee/potty break, and some car sickness, we made it to the Los Angeles Pediatric Hospital at 11 am. Thank You Jesus! </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: black;">As we stepped into the hospital I could feel the spirit of death lurking around every corner just waiting to snatch the life of its next victim. I could feel the sadness, depression, and hopelessness like a weight that couldn't be lifted. </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">We found the east elevator and made the journey to Room 3527 to lay hands on a girl named Jessica who we have never met, only a sophomore in high school with a whole life ahead of her. I thought I would be nervous to meet her, but a peace and compassion beyond understanding overtook my being and when I laid eyes on that beautiful girl, I couldn't help but cry. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">We explained to her that we read her story in the church bulletin and felt strongly to come and pray for her. We were motivated to see a miracle. As we began praying and speaking life over this beautiful young lady's body we felt other beings enter the room...angels. Angels were standing by our sides contending for her weak body. The Holy Spirit began to fill the room and as Matthew was praying I had a very intimate moment with God's beloved daughter. I began stroking her forehead, just like I did when my brother was injured. We looked into each others eyes and as she smiled at me and mouthed the words "praise the Lord", tears streamed down my face. I was looking into the eyes of my sister in Christ, God's beloved who He treasures more than His own life. I was looking into the eyes of a miracle. She looked around the room and said, "You are people." At first I wasn't sure what she meant, but I realized she must have seen the angels in the room. That moment I looked into her eyes will forever be one of my favorite memories during this lifetime of mine =D </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">We were almost done praying when the Lord reminded me of the vision of the key and the authority that I walk in as His daughter. As I touched her head and began to declare healing over her brain, she began to twitch. I believe Jesus was fixing her brain and the swelling was going down. Matthew asked her what she thought or how she was feeling and she said with clear words, "I feel like you're as real as God." Which is crazy because as we were driving to the hospital God spoke to Matthew and said, </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="color: blue; text-align: center;">"As you stand by her, so will I." </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">Before we left I gave Jessica my cross necklace so she could hold it when she was scared or in pain and as a symbol of victory and overcoming our trials. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">Once we said our goodbyes and left the room I was overcome with grief. I began weeping from the moment we left the room. I can't even explain what I was feeling. It was like a mix of redemption, love, a mother's heart, grief stricken pain, and desperation to see healing. My brother (in Christ), Matthew, just held me in his arms as I poured out my tears before the throne. I was a broken mess. My heart had been torn for Jessica. I had felt a sliver of God's love for her and couldn't contain myself. A SLIVER! I believe with all my heart that Jessica will be leaving that hospital soon and that ALL will see the glory and power of the Lord through her testimony. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">Keep Jessica in your prayers please!!! </div>Kelly Mahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06170625658462999107noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5778583363555812713.post-76728625212767779192012-04-01T06:29:00.000-07:002012-04-01T06:29:50.747-07:00Burning Heart Tour.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5eYrY5UkG_iXZ1XajQKyYhQWnzyaCDTkA2dusf2eMMaaAQ2kdd3iHj7v42tJAF98bUXLxfCwYXPundg-9-Fkm6Y_hWzpL1KJgSvr-6r_zz4hUjIjFaTTVabdIp22yrRBkz6NvUrj93ao/s1600/417514_10150721357705993_642420992_11741862_1086081789_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="277" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5eYrY5UkG_iXZ1XajQKyYhQWnzyaCDTkA2dusf2eMMaaAQ2kdd3iHj7v42tJAF98bUXLxfCwYXPundg-9-Fkm6Y_hWzpL1KJgSvr-6r_zz4hUjIjFaTTVabdIp22yrRBkz6NvUrj93ao/s400/417514_10150721357705993_642420992_11741862_1086081789_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
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Jesus.<br />
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It's all about Jesus. <br />
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The past six months of my life I have been attending the School of Worship in Kona, Hawaii with YWAM, then interning for the school and serving the Kona base in the area of worship. Jesus blessed me with incredible people to run with for the past 6 months, a group of crazy, radical lovers, who coincidentally have the same passion as me: <u>to usher in the presence of the Lord and to provide an atmosphere for people to encounter the living God</u>. <br />
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A group of about 4 of us began dreaming together. God began wrecking us with His heart for the United States. We have all been to different countries doing ministry, but for the Lord to give us a heart for our own "home" was heartbreaking, but compelling. The United States is a corrupt land and the bride has been sleeping for way too long. God stirred within us to gather a group of revivalists and tour the U.S. starting in California. <br />
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Our vision:<br />
We want to see <span style="font-size: small;">God <span class="s1"><span>ignite burning hearts, release His furious love, and sweep across the nation to see His army and bride awakened, to rise up and become the generation He has set them apart to be. Our job as a team is to be empty, spirit-led vessels before Him</span></span></span>...and say to Him just like Isaiah in the throne room: "Lord, send me!" <br />
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It is an honor and privilege to partner with the Lord in seeing His kingdom come! Be praying for us as we arrive in California on April 3! <br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"><u> MEET THE TEAM!!!</u></div><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">ME - Knoxville, TN</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Matthew Urspringer - Camarillo, CA</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWJZSq2xLCOm8XBLkf1cMkCrrsBeuwOyse4HSzJeIqdoFBpcpUgCvU4AF-UpjTOOytDFtO6iRJEriu29PLZtg9PnDOj8XjMVZuv7ll1oks7KFgib6fWjdWsCXeKl7oWQXldlOrU92-n-o/s1600/mattguitar.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWJZSq2xLCOm8XBLkf1cMkCrrsBeuwOyse4HSzJeIqdoFBpcpUgCvU4AF-UpjTOOytDFtO6iRJEriu29PLZtg9PnDOj8XjMVZuv7ll1oks7KFgib6fWjdWsCXeKl7oWQXldlOrU92-n-o/s400/mattguitar.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Matthew Combe - Grant's Pass, OR</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Michael, Annie, Zion McClanahan - Nashville, TN</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"> </td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</a></div><div style="text-align: left;"></div>Kelly Mahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06170625658462999107noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5778583363555812713.post-27246778249152319972012-03-18T02:14:00.000-07:002012-03-18T02:14:38.123-07:00Revival.What else is there to do but bring revival to this world. I want to lay down my life to see people encounter the love of the Lord, turn away from lukewarm living and compromise, and fall head over heels with their maker. There is an urgency! Time is our biggest enemy. Everyone must hear that Jesus is a radical lover and He is coming back for His bride, the ones that love him with all their mind, strength, and soul. There are lost, broken, desperate people in this world who rely on their own strength and understanding, and haven't a glimpse of hope. Jesus is our hope! He is the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Him. God is raising up a generation of fiery Jesus lovers who won't settle for anything less than the fullness of Him, and who won't stop preaching, praying, worshiping, loving, and pursuing Jesus, until every knee bows and every tongue confesses that He is God! The time has come! No more sitting back and letting others be commissioned. No more complacency. Our King is returning for His bride, and we have wedding feast invitations to distribute!Kelly Mahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06170625658462999107noreply@blogger.com0